D, oh i mean A

''i'm not missing the moments. nor the feelings. i'm missing you, just you.'' is the last tweet from @sabilaf when i'm writing this post. i dunno why, and eventho i hate to say this, but yeah i do miss you. like.. so much.

i'm not lying by saying that i'm not missing our moments, our feelings. why? bcos i could make those moments, anytime i want. i could grow those feeling with anyone. but you are just you are. with ur imperfection, with ur silly faces, with ur lies, with ur tears, with ur scars. i kno that i wouldn't find anyone like u. the person that kno me better than i do. the person i would never leave.

i'm lying when i said ''jangan salahin gue kalo mereka geser posisi lo, karna gue gamau pertahanin sesuatu yang gak pasti'' in one of my post few months ago. i thought that, yeah, they would replace u, bcos they're such a very good friends better than u do, but in fact, they couldn't took ur place. they got their own place, not urs.

i dunno, you are just that special. as special as nasi goreng pake telor yang karetnya 3. i still remember that tweet, ur tweet. ah, gabakal ada abisnya ngomongin ginian.



(i lost the capture, but this is exactly the words)

@sabilaf gue gapernah endchat conversations kita loh :)

@xxx gue jugaRT @sabilaf: gue gapernah endchat conversations kita loh :)

@sabilaf lo gapernah endchat sm siapa?RT @xxx gue jugaRT @sabilaf: gue gapernah endchat conversations kita loh :)

@xxx sama lo.RT @sabilaf: lo gapernah endchat sm siapa?RT @xxx gue jugaRT @sabilaf: gue gapernah endchat conversations kita loh :)


i kno we're soulmate for lifetime, d. <3

in the end,

is there sumthin' wrong?

pernah gak sih, lo merasa pengen escape dari kehidupan lo sekarang? pernah gak sih, ngerasa jenuh sama segala isi hidup lo? bukan, lo bukan bosen sama hidup lo. tapi sama ISI hidup lo. ya, kayak temen, keluarga, gebetan, idola, klub kesayangan, sekolah, dan masih banyak lah isi-isi hidup lo. pernah gak sih lo ngerasa begitu jenuh sama mereka, sampe kepala lo rasanya sakit, sampe rasanya lo pengen lari, pergi jauh-jauh dari mereka, kabur ke tempat baru yang belom pernah lo kunjungin, dan ngejalanin hari-hari lo sama orang-orang baru. lo pengen buang semua barang-barang lo, ganti memory card hp lo, dengerin lagu-lagu yang beda dan liat foto-foto yang sebelumnya gaada di memory card lo. pernah gak, lo merasa begitu muak sama semua temen sekolah lo, lo ngerasa males; bahkan jijik, buat ngomong atau ketemu sama mereka. semua selera lo, all of ur excitements, are all gone. bahkan buat baca tweet atau liat dp bbm gebetan lo aja, lo gak selera bgt. do you ever? bcos i did.

i was asking myself, what's wrong?

pas liburan kemaren, tiba-tiba aja gue males sama temen-temen SMA gue. kalo ada yg bbm, gue lama-lamain balesnya. kalo ada yang mention, gue gabales. kalo ada yang ngajak jalan, gue cari-cari alesan buat nolak. intinya: gue males berkomunikasi sama mereka. all of them. waktu mereka mau berfutsal ria, gue gaikut, bahkan buat buka grup bbm mereka aja, udh males abis. waktu NYE, walaupun gue agak tergoda, tapi akhirnya gue tolak juga dgn alesan ''gapapa.'' waktu ada yg nanya ''kenapa?''. i'm sick of u all, that's why.

maybe i really need a new life. or maybe not.

but, well, i feel better after 'escape' and made @sabbbilaf so i shudn't have to read ur tweets.. you may think it's silly but, whatever.




you better not judge after read this, ask first is the best way. bcos this post didn't exactly reflect my situations. but, it's up to you, then. i dont care :)