hi
so i just got back from Manggala Food Festival, where i just witnessed a humiliating match between Arsenal and Chelshit.
they trashed us 6 fucking 0.
i was so excited about the game bcos it was Arsene's 1000th game. i thought we were going to pull it off, you know? thought we were going to nailed them and everything bcos it was Arsene's 1000th game for fuck sake!
but ever since the kick-off-whistle blown, i knew immediately that we were fucked. we played so bad it was like watching amateurs.
the 1st goal sent my heart to the floor but didn't break it. the 2nd cracked it a little.
i was welling up tears, tho, on the red card & the penalty. it was the point where i said to myself, that we would not win this shit tonight.
i wasn't actually crying bcos i knew we were gonna lose, or we would be humiliated, but i was crying bcos (and only bcos) i knew that the boys just broke Arsene's very heart. the boys just ruined Arsene's special day.
the 4th,5th & 6th goals weren't so shocking, if not at all. i was so much in pain that i couldn't feel it anymore. and for the first time this season, i lost the excitement to watch the rest of the match.
it was so terrible.

but then the game gives me the realization on how much i love the club. it just doesn't matter what happen, doesn't matter how bad things could turn out to be, i will always love them.
i know they will disappoint me sometimes, i know they will make me cry and they will break my heart, but then they'll make me happy, they'll give me marry-go-round moments and nobody could even comes close on making me feel the way they could make me feel.

i figured that this is how it feels to sincerely love someone, who isn't even your family whatsoever, but this time, it was 40 people at once.

x

"you love your club the way you love your children. you don't love them because they are good, you love the because they are yours."