part 1 -- shaken

(before i say anything, i wanna tell you that there's a little time difference between when-i-should've-posted-this and when-i'm-actually-posting-this. so please, do me a favor. let's pretend that somehow i've posted this in July 19th, 2013 at 9 pm. sorry for this inconvenient, thank you and enjoy the show!)



it's funny how one little conversation could turn your whole world (and life) upside down. it's just unbelievable that one little convo could gives you such a huge impact for what will happen to you next.

i was here, laying in this very bed of mine 3 years ago. i don't really remember what happened at that very time but i can recall sitting in front of my tv to watch some news that i should write the stories about, later. i was excited (and scared) to go (again) to my new school the next day. i knew it was going to be fun and rough but at that very night, never in my mind i ever imagine of meeting a guy who'll say something to me and turn my whole goddamn life upside down.

that guy didn't say much. 12 words. and the next thing i knew, i was a 15 year old girl and my whole life had just gone shaken. in a way that only God-knows-what could done.

17+

gue tau ini udah lewat 10 hari dari ulang tahun ke 18 gue, tapi bukan berarti gue udah gaboleh ngomongin tentang itu lagi kan?

gue seneng akhirnya gue 18 tahun. dulu pas masih 16 tahun kebawah, gue pikir umur keramat itu ya 17 tahun. tapi waktu gue 17 tahun, gue ngeliat 18 sebagai garis akhir masa kanak-kanak gue yang sebenernya. waktu gue ulang tahun yang ke 17, gue baru naik ke kelas 12. gue masih tinggal dirumah sama ortu gue, bener-bener gaada bedanya sama waktu gue umur 16 kebawah. bedanya cuma gue udah punya ktp, itu aja.

sekarang gue udah 18 tahun. gue gabakal tinggal sama orang tua gue lagi karena gue bakal kuliah di Semarang. gue gapunya sanak saudara disana, jadi gue bakal bener-bener gak sama keluarga sedarah gue. sejujurnya, gue excited banget soal ini. seumur idup gue, gue gapernah jauh dari keluarga gue. gue belom pernah pindah rumah dan apapun yang gue lakuin selalu kemonitor sama ortu gue.

gue punya orang tua yang bisa dikatakan over-protecting. bukan strict ya, tapi over-protecting. dalam masalah sekolah, mereka cenderung demokratis. demokratis terbatas. gue boleh jadi apa aja yang gue mau, asal gue bisa bertanggung jawab disitu. gue beruntung ortu gue bukan ortu yang bertindak semau mereka aja. dari kecil, gue udah sadar kalo jalur gue tuh sosial, bukan eksakta. sejak kelas 10 gue udah bilang, gue mau ips, and they said yes. gue sempet mau ngambil psikologi buat kuliah, dan awalnya mereka dukung. trus suatu sore, bokap, yang emang bakat dan sifat dasarnya sama kayak gue, nanya apa gue yakin mau ambil psiko, karna di psiko, seenggak enggaknya gue harus bisa basic math. and i am an idiot on any kind of math. akhirnya gue merenung kenapa gue bisa berpikir mau ambil psiko.

ternyata gue cuma gaya-gayaan aja. gue pikir modal, suka dengerin curhatan orang aja cukup. akhirnya gue beralih ke pilihan cadangan gue, hukum. i was a fool to make jurisprudence my second option. justru, disitulah tempat gue. soon as i made my mind up, i know. i know it will be the place where i belong.

sekarang gue udah keterima di Universitas Diponegoro jurusan Ilmu Hukum. gue udah nyoba nyari jurusan lain buat dijadiin cadangan waktu daftar snmptn, tapi gue gadapet "penglihatan" itu. i took that as a guidance from Allah.


gue harap umur 18 ini bakal ngebawa gue tentunya ke arah yang lebih baik. dan gue harap umur ke 18 ini bisa ngasih kesan positif yang gaakan bisa gue lupain sampe gue meninggal nanti nya.

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun

NEW BEGINNING

not going to say bunch of words here, but..

I GOT ACCEPTED INTO FACULTY OF LAW, DIPONEGORO UNIVERSITY, 2013.
what makes it more special is that i got there through snmptn system.
and what makes it much more special is that it's the faculty of law!!
can you imagine? that's the dream and i fuckin nailed it.

i am so happy i can't really say anything about this but i am spectacularly happy.

Alhamdulillah, much much Alhamdulillah.

buat temen temen gue yang belom diterima di fak dan univ impian, semangat! kalian pasti bisa! impossible is nothing. you'll nail it.

sampe ketemu di UnDip, buat yang bakal jadi mahasiswa UnDip.

salam rantau!

is not it?

it's midnight. right when i type this word, it's 00:23. i just congratulated my buddy on his 18th bday, 27 mins ago. it was yesterday, wasn't it?
my best buddy ever, yes he is. he is my best buddy, ever.

it's pretty quite around here. my cousin is gonna be engaged this afternoon. pretty fast, isn't she? 4 people away and it'll be me. (practically speaking)

hah, life. it's difficult to talk about.

is not it?

you are, del. you really are. :)

FREEDOM IS HERE

the national examination is finally off!
i'm both happy and terrified. on one side, i do not have to wake up in the early morning anymore just to find out that i have to learn about things i do not wanna learn. on the other side, i do not wanna lose my play time with my buddys, yet.
my three-year of senior high school was amazing, it was both heaven and hell. i'm loving and hating every minute of  it.
i do wish i could had more time of it, but i cannot wait any longer for my university era to start.

i'm wishing myself my best of luck, my best of spirit.
ganbatte!

strike!

i like him, i honestly & helplessly like him. apart from him being a such a twat, without judging what club he's playing for now, apart from what club has he dumped like shit before.

he was my fav striker, second after Thierry. he was my reliable captain, without counting the previous ones which i hadn't been the fan of the club.

he is wild, he's versatile, he kept on saving our asses, he's that one reliable pure striker who scores when he wants.
he was and still is the top scorer of Premier League.

what i knew about him was that he was a humble player, loving father of two kids with a beautiful wife. he respected the manager. he hailed his club, club that had faith in him.

if only, if only i was unluckily not a gooner, he would undoubtedly be my fav player —not only fav striker— in the PL.
but then again, i'm a gooner which i considered as my luckiness. i'm just a normal fan who will NOT accept any kind of disrespectful actions against my beloved club.

ah, he was long gone and we've moved on.
why am i talking about this in the 1st place, anyway?

book as book, not film

so here's my opinion: 

some books are better stay as books.

sometimes the movie makers just failed to deliver the messages and ruined the whole things instead. or they even failed to interpret the stories.

i've read Perahu Kertas, a long time ago. and i like it, i like it so much that i've read them for 3 times and still crying over it and feeling so amazed. then they made it a film, two even. i haven't watch them, maybe i wouldn't. because i've fallen for the book that i don't want a film or two ruined it. even when i have none of knowledge about the movies, whether they are good or sucks.

sometimes the movie makers failed to keep the stories stick together. sometimes they changed the details in order to attract more moviegoers.

maybe they don't care, maybe you don't care either. but well, tell me how would you feel when you finished reading a novel and you fell into the story and then you watch the movie and it become a huge disappointment of yours?

anyway, i really wish nobody is going to make Fifty Shades trilogy a movie. or three.