00:14

i don't even know why i opened the site in the first place.
it's 00:14 when i type this, and i just finished reading The Fault In Our Stars an hour-or-so a go, for the second time.

i don't know, the book is so popular that i NEED to read it twice to understand why the book is so popular. and i failed. i have read the book twice and although i appreciate it better, i still think that people are overrating the book. maybe because most of the readers are extreme-emotionally-unstable-teenagers, i guess? (not that i've turned into a completely-stable person, anyway..)

the book is sad, i admit. but to be "punished" that way for its rudeness is somehow TOO much, for me.

anyway.

you just never know what will happen next, right?
i was so happy, this time two days ago.
and i'd be soooo upset and mad and angry as hell in about one hour & 25 mins to go two days ago.

man, life and its unpredictability.

x

bonded.

waking up to the news that Theo will be out for at least six months.

i was crying, the boys are sad and we miss him already. Theo is not just some boy running and scoring for us on the pitch. he is our friend, he is one of us.

ever since Poldi and Oli came, so many things have changed. the squad were getting closer to each other and after continuous bonding sessions, they are tight. they are not only partners on the field, they are best friends out of it, they are family, they are bonded, all of them.

they smile and laugh at photos & videos, and that’s not because they want people to think they are happy, it’s because they simply are. with each other, through thick and thin.

they celebrate each other’ birthdays, they miss each other when they are apart.

i have realized that for a while now, but the latest news of Theo bring clearer image.

it’s not about winning the title and everything anymore, it’s about making each other happy, and winning is one of the way to do it. it’s about the will to fight together not because their job description tells them to, but because they want to, because they’d love to.

we’ve been waiting and gone through a lot of pain for this moment to come, and now it is here.

our main target now is to win the league, and the champs league if not too much. but even if we don’t win any this year, we’ll still have each other. and i think that’s good enough.

i know this moment will not lasts forever, and that’s exactly why i want to cherish it while i still can.

2013

hi!

okay. so, 2013. what happened in twenty-thirteen?

pertama, gue akhirnya ngerasain ujian nasional paling terkenal dan katanya paling susah di Indonesia, which is Ujian Nasional SMA. gue lulus UN SMA dan gue lolos seleksi perguruan tinggi negeri lewat jalur undangan juga, which was kinda cool i think,  walaupun katanya sih yang lolos lewat jalur tertulis lebih keren..

trus gue ketemu dan nonton Arsenal pake mata, badan dan kaki gue sendiri which was actually the most highlighted event in 2013. selain itu, gue akhirnya merasakan (dan ketagihan) atmosfir nobar Arsenal’s regular matches bareng anak-anak Arsenal Indonesian Supporter Semarang.

trus gue pindah ke Semarang dan ngerasain hidup jauh dari temen terdekat dan sanak keluarga. banyak pelajaran yang bisa gue petik dari 4 bulan kesendirian gue. well, gue gak sendirian. gue bareng temen-temen seperjuangan yang jauh juga dari rumah. gue bahkan “ditemenin” juga sama temen-temen lama gue dan keluarga gue, eventho not in their physical presences.

gue gak banyak ngerasain kehilangan dan kesedihan di tahun ini, tapi gak bisa dibilang gak ada momen-momen itu. di awal-awal tahun, Arsenal masih sering bikin gue nangis walaupun di pertengahan dan sampai kemarin match terakhir, mereka lebih sering beamed me up nya. waktu akhirnya lulus sma, terasa banget ketakutan jauh dan pisah sama temen-temen yang selama ini udah bareng selama 3 tahun. dan waktu gue harus pindah ke Semarang, ada juga perasaan takut gak bisa adaptasi, dan takut dilupain sama yang di Jakarta. see, kesedihan dan ketakutan itu pasti ada, tapi they didn’t take up so much rooms.

overall, 2013 adalah tahun yang remarkable, unforgettable and last but not least: precious.

terima kasih buat siapa dan apa pun yang udah ngisi hari-hari gue di 2013, i wish you a decent upcoming 2014 and good luck!

x

d-d-distance

sometimes i wonder if i didn't choose to be here. what the universe would be if i was still living there, in my hometown?

i just finished making a phone call to my mom, and i miss her. i miss her BIG time.

i don't regret my decision to get the hell away from Jakarta, the very city where i used to live. don't get me wrong. Jakarta is my hometown, it always will be. but Semarang fits me (somehow) better. i know that it only has been 3 months, but i like Semarang better than Jakarta already. the city is peaceful, it's quiet. i don't get pissed off all the time, and that's not because i've became more patient but simply because the people barely do things that could make me wanna beat them the hell up.

there i said it, i don't regret not living in Jakarta right now. i miss Jakarta and things and people that come around with it sometimes, but i like it better. i like to miss them, rather than to have them with me in their physical presences all the time. distance teaches me how to love better, it teaches me that distance means so little when someone (or in my case, some people) means so much. distance tells me who are my friends, the ones that really are mine. distance shows me how big the love that my family has for me, how much they care about me even when thousand kilometers set us apart.

the bottom line is this: i don't think i'd known these things if i chose to stay. i still think that i made a (very) right choice, to be here, far away from the loved ones. i just think that this is the price that i have to pay. the price for what? for so many great things, the ones that had happened and the ones that will.

x

Sabila Goes To Cinema

so i went to cinema yesterday —after only God knows how long. i watched Thor: The Dark World, because i love the movie of Thor. 

i don't know what makes Thor so much special, since i've been a Thinking-Too-Much-And-Ended-Up-Buying-The-Dvd-Instead kinda kid lately. but when Thor comes out, none second-thought was taking place. i even watched the first movie in the morning, twice —after thousand times, months before.
the thing is, i'm not a superhero movie fan. and i don't watch superhero movie repeatedly. in fact, i don't watch any kind of movie repeatedly (except Jason Bourne Trilogy. GOD, i LOVE those movies so much). well i've watched Batman The Dark Knight more than 3 times, but that's only because of The Joker —my most favourite villain of ALL time (follows by Loki).

i think, i'm into Thor because the stories are so human, unlike any other. i feel like Thor is so close to what i see everyday, to what happens in our daily lives. 
older brother having disagreement with his younger brother, the feeling of being left behind, betrayal, trust issue, craving for equality, all of those aspects are so human. only that the stories aren't captured by "human", that make the movies are "unhuman". 

so yeah i watched the movie yesterday, and damn.. SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THE MOVIE, DON'T READ UNTIL THE NEXT PARAGRAPH ..i was crying a river after the scene where Loki was stabbed and fucking dead. yes, i cried until the end of the movie just to find out that he is NOT dead yet. fuck you, Loki. you take my love for you for granted!!!!

so yeah the movie was great, with emotional scenes and some funny parts which the first movie doesn't provide. and just like any other marvel movies, the last scene was hanging and left me with thousand questions.
well, there have to be another movie of Thor, the third one!!
damn you, Marvel.

and i guess i'm not gonna watch any movie in cinema for a long time (again) after this. it takes so much of my money.. (anak kosan melarat). hahahaha


x

TOP OF DA ______

so i just happened to finish watching the game between Arsenal and Liverpool.
we won 2-0 up!
and we are at the top of the league, 5 points clear!

i'm extremely happy with the team and the situation that we have now, but the thing is that i'm starting to spot bunch of the club's supporters going around mocking other teams.

hey, just because you are on top, doesn't mean you can mock people up.

i know how football fans go, i know exactly how because i am one. but this is premature to do such thing.
i'm happy, you are happy, the team is happy, le boss is happy, but please. don't be such a big-headed jerk.

we know how it feels to fail, to be left behind. did you like being one? no of course you didn't.
so don't do it to others. wait until the time is right. wait until the throne is ours. when the time comes, we will be allowed to celebrate and mock people up a little, because we deserve it.

the world knows how good our fans at not winning title, but do we know how ourselves would be when we win one? i really hope we'll be so much better fans when winning than we were at losing.


i love you Arsenal, i do! x

AAT2013 PART 2

did i leave you guys hangin on my Arsenal To Indonesia post?
i just realized that... lol

di post terakhir, gue bilang i'll write a bit more than usual kan, tapi ternyata abis itu i got busy and haven't got time for blogging. biasalah, maba.. hehe

jadiii, day 2!

hari kedua Arsenal di Indonesia diisi dengan berbagai kegiatan dari pihak klub dan sponsor, such as coaching clinic, interview on tv and things like that. but, despite all of those fun activities, there was this one last activity and a schedule that they had to attend on that day that i think was the most waited for activity. that thing was... *drum roll please* OPEN TRAINING SESSION!!!!!!!

ok i'm sorry, it's really hard to control an overly excited heart.
open training session-nya Arsenal malem itu (mulai jam 8 di GBK) bisa di hadiri sama siapa aja yang beli tiket pertandingan di Arsenal Indonesia Supporter atau biasa kita sebut AIS. hell yea i bought the ticket from them so hell yea i watched the training session. gabanyak yang bisa nonton tuh training session, maybe cuma 1/8 dari total penonton pertandingan besok malemnya karena selain limited, malem itu ujan gede bgt jd banyak yg mutusin buat ganonton. gila, itu malem tuh mighty night bgt. untuk pertama kali nya, i saw the mighty, the genius, the great great Arsene Wenger through my own lucky eyes. he waved his hands (yes, both hands) to us!!! air mata gue pun langsung turun dengan derasnya.. hell tears! you blocked my vision!

keadaan psikis gue udah gak bisa di gambarin lagi deh, gue ngeliat semua orang yang i've been adoring for years through my own eyes that night. i didnt (and still dont) care about having photos with them or get their autograph, karna bisa liat mereka langsung aja tuh kayaknya udah too much to get.

mereka trained normally. lari, lompat, etc etc. di akhir session, mereka dadahin kita semua dan itu precious moment bgt. gue ngeliat Per, Alex, Theo and Aaron dalam jarak yang lebih deket drpd gue ngeliat pemain lain. it felt unreal. it's not like it could even happen. but it did, it did happen and i am thankful for that.

gue pulang dengan hati gembira tak terkira dan gak sabar buat pertandingan esok hari.

(bersambung)